So here goes...I've been blessed with five best friends at different stages of my life! They are all totally amazing and completely different. From looks tall skinny super model blonde to short curvy brunette. From active LDS to agnostic. From world traveler to stay at home mom. From totally out spoken to quiet and reserved. And every other difference in between! But it's what they have in common besides me that alarms me most...
It's that all of them have been cheated on by there significant other/ husband. This really upsets me! Not just because they are the most amazing people I've ever known but also because what is says about the men of this generation. I don't think they understand love or commitment. Love is service trust devotion. Love is a choice! You do not just "fall" in love or out. You have the god given power to choose in Matt 5 it states-love your enemies... If you love them that love you, what reward have ye? Both statements imply that love is a choice granted from our Father in Heaven who knows us and our desires. Lust is a fleeting desire it is not of God therefore it is against God and will not lead to happiness. I believe that is what these men are in search of. But happiness is never brought by self serving purposes. Happiness is achieved through loving serving and helping others- NOT YOURSELF!
If you are not feeling love or in love with someone try serving them do something selfless with no hope of a return. It makes me so upset to see my best friends all go through this. Why is this generation of men so selfish? Why do they think it's okay to Leave their commitments covenants and sometimes children behind to find "true love"? I'm both sickened and saddened when I hear stories like these:
It's that all of them have been cheated on by there significant other/ husband. This really upsets me! Not just because they are the most amazing people I've ever known but also because what is says about the men of this generation. I don't think they understand love or commitment. Love is service trust devotion. Love is a choice! You do not just "fall" in love or out. You have the god given power to choose in Matt 5 it states-love your enemies... If you love them that love you, what reward have ye? Both statements imply that love is a choice granted from our Father in Heaven who knows us and our desires. Lust is a fleeting desire it is not of God therefore it is against God and will not lead to happiness. I believe that is what these men are in search of. But happiness is never brought by self serving purposes. Happiness is achieved through loving serving and helping others- NOT YOURSELF!
If you are not feeling love or in love with someone try serving them do something selfless with no hope of a return. It makes me so upset to see my best friends all go through this. Why is this generation of men so selfish? Why do they think it's okay to Leave their commitments covenants and sometimes children behind to find "true love"? I'm both sickened and saddened when I hear stories like these:
Child "I want my Daddy to give me a back to school blessing too!" MOM (It's got to be the Mom Cause she is the one still there honoring her covenants and commitments) "He can't sweetie. How about a neighbor, a bishop or one of your friends Daddy's?" Child, "Why Can't Daddy do it? Doesn't he love me?" MOM "He isn't following Heavenly Father's commandments so he can't do it right now. I'm really sorry." Child, "Well if he can't I DON'T WANT ONE! IJUST WANT MY DADDY TO DO IT! NOT SOMEONE ELSES DADDY!" Followed by lots of cries and sobs! This poor child is just heart broken and my friend gets to try to tape up the pieces the best she can.
Or this one: Child, "Mommy can we just go back a year or two when Daddy was following Heavenly Father's commandments and we were all happy?"
I really don't understand what they are thinking. In my opinion you couldn't find better women than my best friends! I haven't and I'm picky about my friends!
9 comments:
I totally agree with you. When Bill and I divorced, all around us there were rumors of cheating. There was none. Marriage is difficult and work. I have always thought that cheating was just stupid. (not very eloquent, but true).
As far as not letting daddy bless...why can't he just give them a fathers blessing? Why pull a child into the politics and guilt of religious rules? I know I'm a little bitter - but children should be protected as much as possible. Right and wrong are one thing, but the relationship with their mom and dad - no matter what either of them did - should be maintained. It totally sucks, I should know.
Ok, there is my rant. Love you ton's and think you have a wonderful, good looking and amazing husband! Runs in the family....
You know a little about my life and my struggles. I can't tell you how grateful I am that Scott has stuck with me through it all. Thick and thicker and so thick you can barely breathe. I've never understood cheating but I for sure don't understand it when I have so many problems and Scott still stays faithful. Do you see what I"m saying? Sometimes you just don't understand what's in a man's mind that leads him down that path. And my heart breaks for the wife but it bleeds for the kids left behind. I'm so sorry that so many of your friends have to deal with this. I'm just glad they have you for support.
Well I'm very happy to still married...a little sad I never made the best friend list.
That aside I know what you mean...you either are doing it Gods way or your not there is no in between. God gave us free will so that we could love and obey Him because we want to. And marriage is scary and hard and wonderful and frustrating and wonderful but if you keep God in your marriage you have a 3 fold cord and if you are both doing what God wants you'll both be married to people that would treat you like God would.
My Rant! Love You Melissa!!!!
That is alarming and heartbreaking. Men! You know what they think with, unfortunately. Women are definitely not the weaker sex, in my opinion!
Dave told me to just own it! Owning it means throwing him under the bus. In our married life he has cheated on me 3 times. Mostly just emotional affairs. That child is xadi I'm the mom. So no Kathee I really don't think I have a Good looking amazing husband at this point. I think he once was and maybe again. But honestly how can you look at my cute kids and want to destroy their world? Love you all thanks for your love and support.
I'm sorry this post hits so close to home for you. You are beautiful and you are lovely and I'm so grateful to have you as a friend. You reached out to our family when we really needed it bad. You call me and we will go out anytime you want. Threading, dessert, clothes, movies. Or a night in. I have no problem ditching my family for you. You name it, I'm up for it.
Love you girl! I can't imagine what you are all going through right now. Poor Xadi. You are a strong and amazing woman. I am here for you what ever you need.
Don't know whether or not I made that list but I obviously understand what you are saying. In all i have studied on the topic of men cheating (sad to have to even go there) they don't do it for lust or sex. There is something deep in their soul that is in need and it usually has to do with realizing their own worth as a child of God. They have no idea that is what is missing but when their current spouse just can't fill them with enough (they drain them dry trying to get what they need) they look for someone else to do it. Until they take the initiative to find out what is wrong and how to fix it in healthy ways they will continue the distructive pattern.
I am so sorry for your pain. So sorry for your precious kids. The pain and distruction this leaves in it's path is horrific. I only survived because of the incredible love and strength and insight and guidance I received from Heavenly Father. And interestingly enough it is all those things I gained that eventually brought my husband back as he saw me getting so healthy and strong and filled with the Spirit regardless of his actions. I know it doesn't always work that way so I feel VERY blessed to still have him in my life. And our marriage is so much better, we are so much happier than ever before this.
You know you are always in my prayers.
Then he is stupid. Organized religion is stupid. Two stupid's don't make a smart. I hate that my niece has to go through that because everyone is being stupid. But I think you know how I feel about that and I feel a rant coming on! Timing is about right and someday we can sit and chat about the time my dad had to bless one of my kids.....
Hugs
Kathee
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